MIGHT BE DELETED IN A COUPLE OF HOURS

        

              
                   I am in that state again the one I dread cause it always takes awhile for me to get back on my feet. As usual I just needed a place to pour out how I feel at the moment. every single time I try to express my ideas I have failed. one of the most frustrating feeling is not been able to bring to life what we see when our eyes are closed. I look around and sometimes I wonder if I am the one moving too fast or the world around me is just too slow. I see the whole picture and their pain and for some weird reasons I understand them. why is it that the run away every single time they hit a difficult turn. sometimes I wish I could run away just like them instead I am stuck at that turn meeting everyone who comes and goes. sometimes I blamed them for not having sense yet sometimes I understand how difficult it is for them. then why do I see this things? why do I understand everyone yet there's no one that understands me? why does it feel like I am in a maze that is constantly sucking me back to the bottom.  They are all obsessed about growing up in other words they give up the beautiful things. why can't we just run around, play in the rain, have conversations about where we want to go and what we want to do. why do we always take the hard road convincing ourselves that it's easy. Isn't it difficult to sleep and wake up everyday only to repeat the same routine. Because of this routines I now feel like there's a roaring lion inside of me wanting to come out but I don't know how to let it free. I want to scream but they did never understand anyways. And as usually these feelings will pass away only to come back again and again and again becoming an unbearable vicious circle. what can I do to break this walls? how do I let myself out? how come my entire life I have never seemed to fit in............

PS: I had this up before but brought it down but something was like I should put it up again which is why I did.